Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Civil Rights?!

The world is in a lot of uproar and term oil right now, there is no doubt about that. No matter what your race, religion, creed, or sexual orientation there is something to get fired up about around ever corner, on every breath, on the tip of everyone's tongue.

It is almost like people can't wait to scream discrimination and see how far it gets them and I really just don't understand any of it. The old saying "Can't we all just get a long" became overused and under appreciated. When will this madness stop?!

The latest news coming from Indiana regarding the state passing a Religious Freedom law really has me shaking my head. This is what I have to say about it....

When did rights stop being for everyone involved? When did a "minority" group become the only group worthy of rights? Let's paint a picture shall we?

A gay couple walks into a bakery wanting a cake made for their wedding, the baker turns down the job. Thanks to the media we are to believe that they turned down the job because they didn't not agree with or support gay marriage and they didn't feel they wanted the job of baking the cake. Is it because the people are gay? Is it because the job is too much for their schedule? Is it maybe because they simply don't offer the design the couple is looking for? Well, none of the latter reasons actually matter because the gay couple is angry that the baker won't bake their cake so now they are able to scream discrimination. The owner of the bakery now has been sued, has had death threats against their family, has even had to close their business down because, lets just presume, they wouldn't make a cake for a gay couple's wedding because their belief system is different than the belief system of the couple wanting the cake.

The rights of the gay couple are being upheld, fought over, argued about yet...what about the rights of the baker? Where did their rights go? They don't have the right to make a decision because someone else feels their rights are more important. When did this become reasonable?

Civil rights are rights for ALL PEOPLE!! All of them, every single one of them. I don't care if you are gay or straight or black or white or fat or thin or old or young. Every single one of you has the same, equal rights as the other but for some reason when an issue is blinded by what one group of people or person feels, the people with the opposing opinion suddenly no longer have any rights at all. No rights to do business, no rights to feel safe, no rights to just get up and go to work and live their life not hurting anyone along the way.

I personally have been turned down by more than one baker on more than one occasion when asking to have a cake made. They never had to tell me the reason, they simply said no thank you and I went on my way, finding a new baker. Keep in mind, I ALWAYS found a new baker to do the job. Never did I believe they were turning me down because of my religious beliefs, my sexual orientation, or color of my skin. I didn't even ask, I simply said "Thank you for your time" and went on my way. When did people stop just being nice people?!

At the end of the day does it really matter that the baker down the street doesn't agree with something you're doing? Is it going to stop you from doing it? Will it change your day or the outcome? The answer to that question is and always will be NO. It doesn't. If for some reason it does, you need to reconcile that within yourself, not sue a baker who is just trying to make a living.

This world better figure their crap out really quick or it is quickly going to become a place where you can no longer let your children play with the neighbor kids, you can no longer have a friendly conversation with a stranger in the grocery store and you can no longer count on that one person in the parking lot who will help you out when you have a flat tire, three small children, and a hand full of groceries!

Hate only breeds hate, it doesn't breed knowledge, it doesn't breed kindness, it doesn't breed understanding. It can and will forever only breed hate. Take a step back, take a deep breath and find it within yourself to just be kind. You don't always have to like the answer but you should always have to accept it and move forward. After all, this is the way life works.

Just once today, take a deep breath and be more kind than you need to be and see how it makes you feel. Tomorrow, maybe you can try it twice and before you know it your days will be filled with kindness and your heart will be full of love instead of hate.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Why has No become a bad word?

What has happened in this world that people feel they shouldn't tell their children no? When did a crying child become something so difficult to deal with that the answer has just become a resounding yes?

I am going to let you in on a little secret. You aren't helping them! You aren't making things better for them. You are absolutely NOT teaching them anything. Sure, in the short term you are making them feel happy, you are giving them their way which in turn makes the screaming or the tears stop. I get it, it is much easier to say yes, it feels good, it makes everyone happy. Now, answer this.

As an adult, does the world always tell you yes? Do you always get your way? Do you always get what you want, the moment you feel you should have it?



Me either!

Do you know why I can handle that?

Because my parents told me no. A lot! They told me no, I couldn't play in the street, they told me no I couldn't go do things with my older sister who was doing things I wasn't allowed to be doing yet. They told me no I couldn't have that item at the store that I knew I couldn't live without. The biggest shocker here...I lived without it! I learned to wait, I learned to understand we can't always have everything all the time forever!

Children need structure, they beg for it. They beg us every day to shape and form them into what will one day be an adult human who has to get a job and drive a car and follow the law. When you tell your child no you are teaching them boundaries, you are showing them you love them. The short term pain is making long term gains they can't even understand yet. It is actually good for children to wait to do things!! If a movie isn't rated for them to watch it, make them wait until they are old enough, help them to understand it has information their young minds can't comprehend and when they are old enough they will be able to enjoy it that much more. Talk to them! Tell them why and let them know it is ok to be frustrated or not want to wait and then remind them that even though they don't like it, the answer is no. The end.

Parent's have become so scared to tell their children no, to upset them, to not be the constant hero and soon we are going to have a world full of very confused children. Children whom are now adults and don't understand why someone else got the promotion, why they are told no by the bank about that loan they want. Parenting starts the first day. You can't go back and change things when they turn 16 and don't understand what you mean when you tell them they can't take the car out for the night. They just know that every time they have thrown a fit for the past 16 years it has worked and now they are bigger and stronger and louder and will throw that fit until it works and you will look at them and wonder where in the world you went wrong. Why in the world they feel they can act this way. I have one thing to say, they act this way because YOU let them. You told them it was ok when they were two years old and didn't want to take a nap and screamed until you got them out of bed to play instead.  You told them they could act this way when, at the store, you bought the toy they were screaming about instead of picking them up and carrying them to the car possibly even leaving your groceries behind. You told them they could act this way when they told you no and you said ok.

Please parents. Please don't be scared of the word no. I promise you, it will be ok. Your children will not be sad forever, they will not cry forever, they will not hate you. Those feelings are so quick to come and go that you will barely even notice but the long term effects last their entire lifetime. Not only do they last their lifetime but they will feel safe and able to tell their children no as well, it will create a wonderful ripple effect and soon the world will be full of loved, cherished, peaceful people who understand boundaries, kindness, and patience.

Lets just give it a try. What could it possibly hurt?